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Church Bulletin Bloopers

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-After the service why not say "hell" to

someone you dont know.

-Please welcome Pastor Dean, a caring

individual who loves hurting people.

-The congregation is asked to remain

seated until the end of the recession.

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Water the root; enjoy

the fruit.

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-David Lynch

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I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet

paper; the closer you get to the end the

faster it goes.

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-Andy Rooney

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Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how

they keep abreast of current events. The

ground is a giant dog newspaper containing

all kinds of late-breaking news items, which,

if they are especially urgent, are oftened

continued in the next yard.

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-Dave Barry

Most Popular Baby Names Last Year

Here are the top 25 names for boys and girls

starting with number one.

Boys:

Ethan, Noah, Jacob, Aiden, Logan, Jackson, Jack,

Ryan, Jayden, Matthew, Liam, Joshua, Tyler,

Benjamin, William, Alexander, Gavin, Lucas, Evan,

Nathan, Mason, Michael, Dylan, Caleb, Andrew

Girls:

Isabella, Emma, Olivia, Ava, Sophia, Madison, Chloe,

Abigail, Emily, Addison, Ella, Lily, Mia, Grace, Alexis,

Avery, Samantha, Elizabeth, Hannah, Natalie, Taylor,

Alyssa, Sarah, Hailey, Riley

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There are some ideas so wrong

that only a very intelligent person

could believe them.

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-George Orwell

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Life is what happens

to you while you're

making other plans.

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-Thomas La Mance

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Let others wrangle, I

will wonder.

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-Augustine

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Maturity consists of no longer

being taken in by oneself.

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-Kajetan von Schlaggenberg

paul klee

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How much larger your life

would be if your self could

become smaller in it.

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-G. K. Chesterton

brae howard

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Tell me what you eat, and I'll

tell you who you are.

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-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Here's one of the latest offerings from the

post office. We're in for some pretty nice

postage stamps this year. Isn't it time you

you switched over to something besides

the Liberty Bell?

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The heart of the problem

is the problem of the

heart.

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-Henry Krabbendam

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Nothing in the world is more dangerous

than sincere ignorance and conscientious

stupidity.

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-Martin Luther King, Jr.

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He loved me ere I knew him,

And all my love is due him.

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-E. M. Bartlett, Victory In Jesus

mr and mrs kendall

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They're back...

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-Poltergeist II

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Everything is funny as long as

it's happening to someone else.

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-Will Rogers

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We are all in this together -

by ourselves.

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-Lily Tomlin

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Saying "Preach the gospel; if necessary

use words," is like saying "Tell me your

phone number; if necessary use digits."

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-J. D. Greear

HT: Justin Taylor

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I have come to believe...
-that prayer is incalculably
important.
-that words hurt longer than sticks
and stones.
-that being smart is not as important
as being good...not even close.
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-Dr. Nicholas P. Barker
Nov. 25, 1937 - Dec. 24, 2009
HT:Catie

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He is no fool who gives

what he cannot keep to gain

that which he cannot lose.

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-Jim Elliott

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Keep hold of instruction;

do not let go; guard her,

for she is your life.

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-Proverbs 4:13

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Nothing is ever like it used to be.

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-Malcolm S. Forbes

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The principle part

of faith is patience.

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-George MacDonald

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Yesterday I woke up sucking

a lemon.

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-Radiohead, everything in its right place

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There is far more danger in a public monopoly than there is in a private monopoly, for when government goes into business it can always shift its losses to the taxpayer. The Government never really goes into business, for it never makes ends meet, and that is the first requirement of business. It just mixes a little business with a lot of politics, and no one ever gets a chance to find out what is actually going on.

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-Thomas A. Edison

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When prosperity comes,

do not use all of it.

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-Confucious

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If you do what you

should not, you must

bear what you would

not

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-Benjamin Franklin



Conscience is a mother-in-law
whose visit never ends.

-H. L. Mencken

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In all your getting,

get understanding.

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-Proverbs 4:7

happy wedding day to michael and sienna!!!

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Happiness is not complete

until it is shared.

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-Jane Porter

The all-new Howard family:

Michael Kendall and bride Sienna, Lowen, Kyrie, Pax

Brae, Chalice, Damien and Kate

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Originality is simply

a pair of fresh eyes.

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-Thomas W. Higginson